This issue's questions are brought to you by Grand Master Stevo!
Ok you greedy, stevmolian-hording 'nana slugs, here
is your grade report from Issue 8!
Grammer errers are no falt
of my own. Yell at the authrs.
Some entries have been omitted
in the name of conserving internet bandwith
Question #1:
Type:Essay
Worth:First place, §20; second, §10
Discuss the effects on lead poisoning from pencils
versus ink poisoning from pens. Compare and contrast.
Dan K : No Place
Ok well, First of all, The lead in Pencil's is not Lead, but Graphite.
So, you can not get lead Poisoning from it. But, it does leave a black
dot in your skin for a very long time if you break a peice off in
there. Now, ink Poisoning is COMPLETELY differnt. See, in pens, there
really is Ink. and if that ink is poisonious, then I suppose it could
happen. but I've been stabbed by many a Pen, and I'm not Poisonied
yet, so Maybe that stuff in Non-Toxic, eh? (Ok Bear with me, I've
very tired, its 11:15)
Carly D: No Place
Ink Poisoning from pens: its bad (?) Lead poisoning from pencils:
pencils today dont use lead, they use graphite and clay. So, the only
way that you could get lead poisoning form a pencil is to use a really
old one. i guess one cant answer this question unless one knows how
old the pencil is.
Lizzy ;) W : No Place
First of all, I'm just curious if you get these question ideas from
AP Lang. tests, because they are quite similar (with the exception
of them based on the parts of language). Anywho, these tests are quite
annoying. You need to do at least one or 2 full legnth 40 min. essays
a week for the classs. This is a tanget from the question, but as
you can tell I'm not exactly interested in the question since my response
to it is simple. Both of the effects of the poisoning would suck for
the person, but ink is a liquid and seems easier to spread throught
his/her body. So ink would be worse.
Mal L : No Place
seven
Ashley P : Second +§10
Lead poisoning and ink poisoning differentiate slightly. Ink poisoning
is far worse then that of lead. Lets just say, I trip and fall, and
oops, a pencil goes through my hand. That would hurt. And if I would
fall and a pen goes through my hands...well it couldn't possibly,
because of the little retractable clicky thing. Man those are cool.
the end
Sarah R : First +§20
one thing: pencils have graphite, not lead, but i'll go along with
your insane
Insane?
efforts anyway... there are several similarities
bewteen pens and pencils. both are writing utensils that one can purchase
almost anywhere in the known universe (except maybe shopko, the store
of crap). both are handy for writing things, such as notes or papers
for a composition class. There are, however, several differences.
These range anywhere from erase-ability to poisoning. the skin poisoning
from pencils is much less severe than ink poisoning in some instances.
If you draw on your hand with a pencil, chances are you won't even
make a mark with the lead, and that means that very little lead is
able to poison you; however, if you choose to take a large bite out
of your pencil, you will get awfully sick. there have been very few
cases of pencil-lead death, but one must be careful when looking for
a mid-class snack.
Whew!
the skin poisoning from pens is very, very mild,
but it can be a little more severe than some may think. when drawing
on your hand with a pen, there is obviously going to be more ink on
your hand than lead with a pencil. your regular ball-point pen will
not do too much damage. you may feel slightly dizzy for a bit, but
the ink should wash off easily and then you should be fine. in the
case that you use a fountain pen, watch out. not only will you feel
dizzy, but the ink is much, much more difficult to wash off and the
effects could last for days, even weeks. there have been some scientific
advances in battling lead and ink skin poisioning. one new product
is a special skin moisturizer that makes even fountain ink wash off
in seconds. there are even new non-poisonous pencils on the market;
there are even flavored ones for those who are constantly chewing:
chicken, lime jello, and lima bean.
Lima Bean?
even though lead-eating is very dangerous, there
are some who find it to be invigorating and almost like a drug. this
is called pencil-ingesting-stomach-syndrome (P.I.S.S.).
Your awfully close to the
line misses.
P.I.S.S. affects the lining of the stomach directly,
and once the lead molecules reach the delicate lining of the stomach,
a hormone called lead-or-graphite-sitamone (L.O.G.S.)
That's better.
is released into the brain, causing the pencil biter
to feel happy and creative. this can be attributed to most of the
abstract art produced nowadays. if a pen accidentally explodes in
your mouth, do not fear.
That happened to me once,
and it also happened to Ernest in one of his millions of movies. Yeah,
see he was trying to write...
chances are it is a ball point, which is very treatable.
look around in your cupboards for some baking soda, which contains
the compound plyor-orphate-onimite (P.O.O.). P.O.O. will cleanse your
system imediately, since it reacts with ball-point ink and produces
a bubble-gum flavor, oddly enough. if a fountain pen explodes in your
mouth, call 911
something and then all...
immediately. unlike the L.O.G.S. that is associated
with pencils, this kind of ink produces total-oral-ingestion-lithite-engimatic-tylic-sitamone
(T.O.I.L.E.T.S.). the T.O.I.L.E.T.S. immediately rush to your spinal
cord, where they eat away your spinal fluid (a painful process). the
emergency workers will administer a shot of a drug that is not yet
named, and you will feel better in a few weeks. Pens and pencils are
both very practical inventions that make everyday life much easier.
due to these ingenious
of the sudden his pen exploded.
contraptions, we no longer have to sign our names
in blood or mucous. be aware, however, that the skin or ingestion
poisoning effects from either could make your life miserable and painful.
do be careful!
Christine E : No place
Well, first of, oh great Moderator Steve,
Thats me.
you can't get lead poisoning from pencils...since
they're made of graphite.
Yeah, I've heard that in
EVERY SINGLE OTHER QUESTION!
Ink poisoning is also rather hard to get, as you
would have to partake of three or four entire pens...and even then
it's not a guarrantee (although, you might have problems digesting
the plastic-y part). Do you eat pens Steve? I hope not, well...at
least not three of four at a time, 'cause that would be silly. The
above mentioned methods of poisoning are both hard to contract. However,
lead poisoning from pencils is considerably more difficult, as pencils
are not made from lead; it's graphite!
Becky D : Worst Place +§5
Let's start with fecal wastes.
Ewww
These are primarily made up of bacteria and indigestible
material. There are millions and millions of bacteria per gram in
fecal material. It also contains fats, some protein residue and indigestibles
such as cellulose materials. What causes the odor is the conversion
of materials in the diet to compounds which have a strong odor. The
chief offender, the one with a very strong odor, is caused by the
decomposition of amino acid materials in food during the digestive
process. Everyone who has changed a baby's diaper is aware of this
odor. It is the traditional odor of fecal matter. There for pencils
are worse...
Jana V : No Place
I dont think its possible to get lead poisoning from pencils because
the majority of the "lead" of pencils is graphite. However, if one
draws on himself a lot with pens, he can get ink poisoning if it gets
into his bloodstream through a punture of the skin. Consequently,
the victim has poisoned blood. However, its the same with the ink
of tatoos.
Annie M : No Place
Lead poisoning from pencils and ink poisoning from pens - both are
myths that some mean kid came up with to freak you out after you jabbed
your pencil into your finger. Oh you know I'm right.
Nathan K : No Place
The poisoning from pens would be more leathal than the lead from pencils.
Unless you are stabbed and recieve a very bad infection, the lead
in a pencil will not hurt you because it is made form graphite. The
ink in pens, however may contain real lead which when enters the body
begins to slowly eat away at nerve cells so you feel no pain. Then
the lead eats through your stomach lining rupturing you stomach, small
and large intestines, and spleen. Remember, you don't feel any of
this. Then you will slowly die as any food you eat lands insite all
internal organd messing up the functions and purposes. Thank you.
Liz B : Third Place +§0
WARNING: THE CONTENT IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS MAY NOT BE 100% ACCURATE
AND IS SIMPLY WHAT ELIZABETH ANN BALES FELT LIKE WRITING AT THE TIME.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. It depends on the type of pen you have. If you
have a glitter pen, all that you have to worry about is having a little
too much fun writing with it and "accidentally" writing on the walls
or something. Glitter is not made of lead, so you have nothing to
worry about. ;-) As for pencils, colored pencils do not contain lead--just
colored plastic that rubs off onto paper. This is better known as
magic. Lead poisoning can only be gotten from regular pencils that
are not #2. This is why all standardized tests require the use of
#2 pencils--the hope to limit your exposure to the poisonous variety.
There are rare occurences of lead poisoning from red, black, or blue
pens. This only occurs when the pens come into contact with non-#2
pencils. The poison is then transferred from the pencil to the pen.
Lead poisoning is very dangerous. Symptoms are, but are not limited
to, falling asleep in class, failing tests, senioritis, inability
to fall asleep at night, and a strange desire for chocolate. If you
suspect that you have any of these symptoms, treatment should be sought
immediately. Send §20 to Elizabeth Bales for an antibody prescription.
This can be delivered to her through Stephen Mark Bushman, a.k.a.
Ultimate Quiz Master Stevo.
Ben G : Hehe. No Place. In fact, -§3
just because :)
Lead poison from pencils?? no. pencils are graphite now. sorry. and
ink poisoning? we here in "tough guy land" call those tatoos.
Question #2:
Type:Multiple choice
Worth:§4
Note: You can only answer once.
Which is the correct answer?
A.) Aardvarks
B.) Burgers
C.) Chili
D.) Yaks
And the answer was?
*Rolls dice*
Well, Ben G. guessed D.)
Yaks, so obviously I can't choose... I mean D can't be correct. As
for chili, I like chili. But I also like burgers. So the only answer
that works is of course, aa, no wait, yes, no, double-a-r-varks. (With
a 'd' in there somewhere.)
Dan K : +§4
A.) Aardvarks <-----It has 2 A's? wow, this is the right answers cuz
I learned something today...
Sheesh
Carly D :
d. yaks
Liz B :
D, yaks is the correct answer 'cause it makes me smile. Every time
I think of your yak game that you made during web design at SSI2K,
I grin. Good game, good times, good answer?
Yeah,
I have to admit, Yak Racer is perry cool *flaunts*
Lizzy Wd :
D.) Yaks This is the obvious answer, because the word "Yak" obviously
denotes an award (aka the (sexy) Yak Award). The award in this case
would be my 4 points. (Yaks are also associated with the exclusive
Sexy Yak Tennis Fairy club in Green Bay) Oh yeah, the other things
begin with the multiple choice letter. Yaks doesn't begin with a 'D'
because it is entirely too unique.
Mal L :
D) Yaks Because I came up with the yak joke therefore it is the correst
answer.... unless of course Stevo says it isn't becaue it CLEARLY
states in the rules that Stevo is ALWAYS right.
Ashley P:
I belive is is....D
Sarah R : +§4
Aardvarks, you aa**.
I'm
sorry, that is -§5 for profanity.
Christine E :
D) Yaks
Becky D :
I AM WEASEL!!
Jana V :
D.) Yaks
Annie M :
D.) Yaks. Yaks are *always* right.
Nathan K : +§4
A.)Aardvark - this is totaly unrelated to anything so this is the
right answer.
Ricky E :
C.)Chili
Ben G :
D.) Yaks
Question #3:
Type:Free-for-all
Worth:§25
Note: Figures may not be to scale.
If Jim travels at 65 m.p.h. towards Cleveland
from the west, and Jose travels at 30 m.p.h. towards Toronto which
is 1706 miles from Missouri, which is 301 miles from Cleveland, which
in turn is 203 miles from Los Angeles, who will reach their destination
first if Jim has a 1988 Ford Bronco II parked at a Burger King 17
miles from Chicago (which is 503 miles from Missouri) and Jose has
a 2001 Audi TT with sports package and resides in a suburb 23 miles
from Los Angeles. Explain.
Keep in mind that the time of day is around 4:00,
calculating probable hours for rush hour traffic, major interstates
reside between Canada and Missouri, possible cows in the roads in
Dairy states, the fact that Jose is 89 miles from a used weapon dealership,
Broncos tend to roll around heavy corners, Jose really likes donuts,
Jim has a girlfriend, both can fly a plane, but neither can land one,
Jose requires 8 hours of sleep unless he has a stimulant while Jim
needs only 6, Jim is allergic to pennicilin, and Jose has green eyes.
Also, be aware of other information which I
may have forgotten to include.
Note that Jim and Jose know who each other are.
Please try to remain fairly tasteful.
There is only one correct answer.
And you said that you would never use math.
Annie M :
Jose will win. Jim's Bronco will break down. It is, after all, a bronco.
Broncos are good! No twinkie!
-§1
Ricky Ernst :
2 hours
Becky D :
Jim sucks and I hope Jose dies... i win
Now now, Jim
is a very nice guy.
Jana V :
First of all, there are Clevelands in many different states: aka Wisconsin,
Ohio, Missouri, etc. So.. I am going to say Jose is going to get to
his destinaurion first because Jim has to talk to his girlfriend for
a long time before he leaves.
[Insert witty
comment here]
Ashley P :
2
Sarah R:
i didn't use math. jose got there first because broncos suck.
Grrr. I'm amending
a new rule, no Bronco Bashing! -§1
Christine E :
Well, given the very twisted logic in the question, I would say that
they arrived at their destionation sometime on Tuesday, as they were
both remaining stationary at 30+ mph (which, by the way, is very talented
of them) at their last known locale. So, I would say that while both
of them left sometime, they have both arrived in no time.
Mal L : +§25
Jim of course because a certain Quiz master also has a Bronco so I
am saying that it has to be Jim just because.
Yeah!
777! +§25
Liz B :
Well, if Jose goes through all of those cities, it's gonna take him
FOREVER to get there! But you can't drive in a straight line anyhow,
unless you have an ATV (which they don't) and plan to just drive over
houses and stuff. You didn't specify what the color of the Bronco
was. If it was white, Jim may be mistaken for OJ running from the
cops again. If he gets pulled over, they may run an DNA test to make
sure that's he's not OJ with plastic surgery. That could allow Jose
to beat Jim to his destination. Also, if he catches strep throat while
he's at the hospital getting blood drawn for his DNA test, he may
take penicillin (which he is allergic to) without realizing what it
is. This could make him deathly ill, which could severely hinder his
trip. Or maybe Jim "ran out of gas" on the drive since his girlfriend
was along. If he "ran out of gas" who knows how long it would take
him to get gas? Depending on how attracted he is to his girlfriend,
it could be awhile. Jose could buy a used gun and shoot Jim because
Jim stole his girlfriend, car, cocker spaniel, and hair gel. Therefore,
Jim will never reach his destination.
Ben G :
F*** you.
-§6
fool
Carly D :
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHA THIS IS FUNNY!
Thank you!
Dan K :
I'd have to say the answer is 2. Cuz well, I can't belive I wasted
the time to Read that.... Its WAY to late.... I'll tell ya what, I'll
amend my answer tomarrow when I'm not so tired.
Drink some
Jolt.
Question #4:
Type:Special
Worth:§0-10, depending on answer
Compliment either myself, The Ultimate Quiz
Game, or this site.
Dinner break. Whew, tough
work!
Ok, back
What people are saying about me!
Ben G : +§7
Holy s***! I cant belive how incredibly awesome this site (and the
maker) are!!! i am drawn to this site veryday at least 2 times!!!
i love the alligator guy as the mascot. also i think it is really
neat how you are really neat. steve-o is the greatest person in the
world. HAIL KING STEVEO! LONG LIVE THE KING (of coolness)...
steve, ... i cant belive that you havent been apointed
as the president. this site is so cool! i go to it everyday. your
pizza making skills [rOxOr]. you are the best wrestler in the world.
i love you car... i am going to make a shrine to you.
Nathan K : +§10
Steve, you are such a nice guy, you've put a lot of hard work into
this wonderful, error-free web site. The UCG has brought meaning to
my life where there was none. You have given me a reason to live.
I love the Ultimate Quiz Game.
Thats right. ERROR
FREE.
Annie M : +§1
I've decided that I'm not going to compliment anything. From the very
depths of my soul I want to make fun of everything, Steve, but I just
can't. It'd be too easy. It's like you're asking for something to
defecate all over you, your Quiz Game, and your site. It's just not
fun when you *ask* for it. When you don't see it coming, *then* it
is funny. Very funny. Anyway, I've decided not to answer.
Jana V : +§4
Your Quiz questions exemplify your immense imagination. You have to
be a math and geography whiz to get that hard question. Err..You make
me feel stupid cuz I dont comprehend anything..Grr! Anyways, besides
that.. you were the best player on your team when we were playing
that game in the parking lot and I defended you when Dan said that
you sucked because Dan sucked really bad more than everyone else combined.
Becky D : +§2
Stevie-poo Bushman is THE best Stevie-poo I know!!!
Christine E : +§7
Stevo, the great Yakmaster of the Universe, the amazingly talented
UQG Master, and one and only Stevo (guava-aholic), an individual who
is truly committed (or should be), is the UQG god.
Sarah R: +§7
i love you, steve! you are SO wonderful to me even when i'm acting
wierd (and that's like all the time) and you encourage me when i'm
embarassed (percussion anyone?). you make my days wonderful. you make
me happy and sad and ecstatic and angry yet peaceful all at the same
time. it's a cool feeling and no one has ever done it for me before.
sarah
Ashley P: +§3
Alligators...they are cool. Steve...I taught steve much about sex....now
dish out the points damn it. Steve, I taught you everything you know
damn it.
Mal L : +§2
You look damn good in tiara.... and I do have photographic proof of
this.
Lizzy ;) W : +§5
HTML is obviously superior. This shows in the well organized home
page, and the marvellous new way of giving responses. The response
page is a definate improvement, because it seems that every time I've
tried to answer questions and send them in, they have not been counted.
Liz B : +§7
I really had a lot of fun with the last question Steve. :-) I just
kept re-reading the information and I just drew totally outrageous
conclusions. So that was good fun. UQG in general is loads of fun.
You always come up the the most absurd questions (that's a good thing),
and the "winner" isn't even always the one who had it right. Usually,
it's just the person with the funniest answer. And there's lots of
funny people in this, which makes each issue HILARIOUS! Also, Steve,
you are a great disco-er, and I know that I don't stand a chance if
I ever have to compete against you this year. If you are kind enough
to give me some help as to how to prepare and stuff, I might be able
to do fairly well. Maybe we'll even go 1-2 at State! :-) To conclude,
this site rox, UQG rox, Stevo ROX, and rocks are green.
Carly D : +§5
steve... need i say more?
The Raffle Pot is up to §101!
Buy a Ticket!
1 Entry so far, need at least 10 to raffle!
p.s. Liz B, your order of the first prize is still being
processed!
Additional Scoring:
Such as Movie Reviews, etc.
Transactions:
Liz B gained §25 from 5 movie reviews
Captain Annie gained §10 from 2 movie
reviews
Mal L gained §20 from 4 movie reviews
Sarah R gained §10 from 2 movie reviews
Nate K gained §5 from 1 movie review
Ameboid Boy gained §5 from 1 column
Sarah spent §1 on a raffle ticket
Princess Eileen spent §5 on a name change
Now go play the trivia!
