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Article: Professor Anna Unveils Truth About Girl's True Evilness

Reported by special news corespondent Stevo

Plymouth, Wisconsin - Professor S. Anna† shocks the nation with the unveiling of her latest mathematical theorem, Radiosity and the Effect on Girls Inherit Villainy.

"I feel that the truth must be exposed." states Professor Anna. "The world has been in the dark for too long.

Fig. 1 - Professor Anna

Professor Anna's new theorem has come to prove a belief long held by several local boys.

"I always thought that girls had some kind of evil aura around them. That is why I got my cudie shots in the third grade." states Corey, age 12

"This comes to no shock to me."

"Yeah, like, ever since this one friend told me that his roommate, like, liked me, I thought girls were cool. But then I found out she didn't like hockey. The relationship went downhill from there. I mean, what kind of weirdo doesn't like hockey? Man, girls must be evil." states Freshman in college Jeremy B.††

Fig. 2 - Inportant Stats

An abridged copy of Professor Anna's 112 page report follows:

A Preliminary Report on The Origin of Inherit Girl Evilness

Mathematical Proof That Girls Are Evil
1.) Girls = Time * Money	It is commonly agreed that girls equal a combination of time and money, usually invested from guys
2.) Time = Money	Using highly complex economic concepts, we can come to realize that time equals money. This is why CEOs of companies (but not Little Alligator Productions) take airplanes instead of busses. Ask Mr. Zimmerman, or better yet, don't. Or just look at the next Tyme machine you see and you'll understand.
3.) Girls = Money	Because of substitution, we then see that girls are equal to money squared.
4.) Money = sqrt(Evil)	From the ancient proverb "money is the root of all evil" we can deduct that money is actually the square root of evil. *Note: sqrt() means "The square root of"
5.) Girls = sqrt(Evil)	Substitution again
5.) Girls = Evil	Reduction of terms

"This mathematical theorem proves that girls are evil in its purest form. Now give me more funding." - Professor Anna

Professor Anna also urges informed readers to not travel on airplanes with cats.

Back to the Front Page!

†This report may not be factual

†† There is a chance that he did not actually say this and I just made it up off of the top of my head, but I wouldn't count on it. But if so, please do not sue.

E-mail: bushman_steve@hotmail.com

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